I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
