I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
