and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
