Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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