Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I looked at my own cervix.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
