it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?