The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
