so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
