I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i dont even know how to be here
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO