I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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