Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
