you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize