between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
