Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize