At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
As shirtless as possible
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
