"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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