it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
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