I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
