Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
