We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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