called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize