i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I touched a dick in church today
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
