I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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