my sisters under your porch take her home
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
