Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Girls should come with a carfax report
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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