Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize