In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
