I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
