Betty ford says i'm here all night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
