After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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