oh god the rape fog is back!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im holly from the hills drunk
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
