i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
