afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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