i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
