btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
did you just send me my own nude
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize