Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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