he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
