Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
