Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
