And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
