thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
