The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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