i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
