I'm laying in your front yard are you home
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize