we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
FUCK WHALES
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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