I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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