How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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