What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and she was petting her beer can
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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