Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
