covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
