She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
