omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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