omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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