The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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