ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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