Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
