I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
