This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
