Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can you bring me the toilet please
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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