So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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