So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
