where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
