Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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