It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
